Seen (and Heard) About Town

Living in (relatively) rural Maine, I see a lot of small local businesses competing with the influx of big box retailers and the ever-growing presence of agency-produced advertising on the landscape and airwaves. The state of Maine bans roadside billboards, but there's nothing to prevent a business from using a marquee to promote its good or services, or it's owner's personal agenda. And of course, locally-produced radio and TV spots are numerous, and often more interesting than the regular programming. Here's a small sample of some things I've spotted recently.

Locally-owned sandwich franchise marquee: "Closing Help Wanted"
If they're closing, why are they hiring?

Locally-owned fast-food franchise marquee: "Now Hiring Closers"
When I read this, all I can picture is Ricky Roma from David Mamet's Glengarry Glen Ross asking "What do I have to do to get this hamburger into you today?"

Local jewelry chain radio spot: "Inconveniently located at..."
Now, this chain's stores are not hard to find, but their self-deprecating humor is used to highlight the fact they're not passing along the overhead of a mall lease to their customers.

Local seafood shop marquee: "See Our Rare Yellow Lobster. 1 in 1 million."
You'd think that ought to bring in the tourists, except...

Competing seafood shop across the street marquee: "Yellow Lobster Rolls 4 for $20"
Actually, that ought to bring in tourists and locals.

Local car stereo sales/installation shop marquee: "Car Making Funny Noises? We Can Help."
Judging from the condition of a lot of cars I see around here, this place knows their customer.

Locally-owned car insurance broker radio spot: "Would you really buy car insurance from a caveman or lizard?"
Good point. Cavemen and lizards don't even drive.

Local hearing aid shop marquee: "Get a Hearing Aid. Make Your Spouse Stop Yelling at You."
I'm guessing this has appealed to a few folks with perfect hearing.

Local glazier and window shop marquee: "Get Ready for Spring. Let Us Fix Your Window Screens."
Time to change that calendar, folks.

In addition, there are a bunch of local businesses who use their signage for purposes other than advertising. Many of them are currently wishing a speedy recovery to a local teen critically injured in a car accident. Some are encouraging passers-by to check out local citizen-initiated legislative issues. More than a few businesses are extending thoughts to military members and their families. And then there's the local gun and ammo dealer who uses his marquee to voice his personal, sometimes militant, political thoughts. Regardless of what they say, this homespun advertising attracts the eye (and ear) and keeps the businesses top of mind for many locals. It sure beats having neon and animated LEDs blight the landscape.